i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
