We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
