OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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