Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
