Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
