I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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