this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
