just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
