I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
