o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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