I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize