I hate all girls vehemently.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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