Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
