I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
