coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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