Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You're like the curious george of whores
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
