how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
