new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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