How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
