So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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