What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
