one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
