Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Sober January is a disaster.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
