i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Randomize
