YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
