We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
