you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
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