hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
