it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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