why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
