Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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