I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
