So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I would ride that face into the sunset
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
