i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
