Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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