over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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