just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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