weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
