i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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