i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
