We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
