State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He passed out mid-signature
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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