just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
