Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
