I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
