please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
