its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
