I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
