Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
