He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
