i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
They have beer where we have blood.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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