pedialite and red bull = repair kit
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
