i think my mom watched the whole time
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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