if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
