That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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