you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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