Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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