How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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