i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
